Friday, April 08, 2005


Ohio Theocons roll out carpet for Keyes, Coulter

Ohio's average IQ will take a nosedive April 16 when whackjobs Alan Keyes and Ann Coulter come into Columbus for a rally and fundraising dinner for what is being described as the launch of Rev. Rod Parsley's "Silent No More" 11-city world tour and moral extravaganza. The rally, at the World Harvest Church, is free but ya gotta pony up $50 to break bread with this two and Pastor Rod.

Our first reaction is that we doubt words "Silent No More" have ever been used before in the same sentence as the words "Alan Keyes" and "Ann Coulter."

But, in some ways this is perfect. Keyes and Coulter are so good at aggravating anyone with common sense and a desire to retain their sanity that it's laughable that these two are the only ones Parsley could get to sign on. If this is who the Republican Party wants to be their standard bearers in the future, we say let 'em do it. Independents and moderate Republicans are starting to serious doubts about the GOP after Schiavo and the attacks on Social Security, and bringing in Keyes and Coulter helps clarify their choices.

Keyes is truly crazy, and even his fellow Republicans avoided him when he was tapped to be Baraka Obama's opposition in Illinois. For those that don't know him, the fact that Keyes has frequently asserted that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were a warning from God that America should outlaw abortion gives you sense of how his mind works.

Whereas Keyes comes off as chemically imbalanced, Coulter gives the impression of a young SS officer: Vicious, shallow, loyal and willing to stoop as low as it takes. The Coulter quote we always remember is, "We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too." (And, when she was asked if she had any regrets about saying that, Coulter responded, "Only that I didn't say it loud enough and in a large enough public forum.")

Oh, yeah. The event is being co-sponsored by the Ohio Restoration Project - you know, the folks that want to make another whackjob, Kenny Blackwell, your next Governor.


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