Tuesday, July 19, 2005

 

Ohio GOP calls for criminal attorney "Marshall Plan"

The embattled Ohio Republican Party today announced that the shortage of available criminal defense attorneys in Ohio has grown so acute they are working to identify and fly in volunteer attorneys from out of state.
Speaking at a news conference, Ohio GOP chairman Bob Bennett outlined the impending disaster.

"We are surrounded and in a desperate situation," said Bennett. "When David Brennan hired Rocky Saxbe yesterday, he took the last remaining active attorney who practices criminal law in the state. We have now have hundreds of scared, defenseless lobbyists, donors and Administration officials who are facing interviews, depositions and indictments on their own. Oh, the humanity . . ."
The AP is reporting that after Bennett re-composed himself, he called for the formation of a Red State Pay-to-Play Barristers Brigade who would be parachuted in to rescue the besieged party, and he also announced that Operation Yellow Elephant pilots had volunteered to fly the risky mission.

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