Sunday, September 11, 2005

 

Dan hearts Jen

Dan Williamson is the political (reporter, columnist, dope?) for the Other Paper and occasionally for the Columbus Monthly magazine, both owned by CM Media. The OP is a free weekly entertainment and quasi-"alternative" paper.

Unfortunately - or fortunately, as the case may be - the OP's website is so touch-and-go that Williamson's columns are seldom seen online. Thus, readers who don't make it to central Ohio very often are going to have to take our word about Williamson.

We've never understood why the CM Media keeps him, but maybe he reflects the views of owner Max Brown. We hope not. Despite being the only regular "political" column in the paper and magazine, his pieces over the years have been trite, moronic and error-ridden.

More disturbingly, Williamson seems to have a man-crush on Kenny Blackwell and manages to blow one or two kisses to him seemingly every week. We find it especially odd to for a paper that has historically tried to position itself as the alternative to the Columbus Dispatch (hence the moniker, the Other Paper) to have its only political columnist be to the right of the CD.

A few weeks ago he wrote an incoherent column that to both trashed the RON amendments and lecture the RON organizers about how they should have put the amendments together. And, of course, blow a few more kisses to his idol Kenny.

This week, Williamson's column continues the KB love affair, using Democratic Secretary of State candidate Jennifer Brunner's opposition to the RON amendments as the vehicle. To be sure, if there were ever two more closely matched, clueless and moronic soulmates than Dan and Jen, we don't know where they are.

But, don't waste your time trying to find or read the article. Your brain cells have better things to do. As a public service, Hypothetically Speaking World Headquarters provides this summary:
Issue 5 - that would give the Ohio Secretary of State's election duties to a bi-partisan panel - is bad. It's bad because, heck, the Secretary of State just won't know what to do if those duties are taken away. And, the SOS budget will just go to waste.
Boo hoo hoo.

Williamson does provide us with an additional inane comment from Brunner:
I just don't know how the current system of the 88 county boards is gong to mesh with a nine-member board and elections supervisor.
You don't know? Well, fuck Jen, read the fine print in the amendment! It lays it all out right there. And, since the Issue 5 state election board structure is modeled after the county board structure, we are pretty confident all the affected parties can figure the "meshing" out.

Furthermore, the fact is that SOS will still have plenty to do, like administering the paperwork of Ohio's corporations and nonprofit organizations, policing trademarks, administering the state's UCC and notary system. Yes, the SOS will no longer have a $17 million budget. It's a no-brainer that a big chunk of that money would go to fund the new elections board.

And, what is Issue 5 passes and she is elected SOS?
"I'll still have a lot of enthusiasm [if elected]. I still intend to stay with it. I started out in that office as a corporations lawyer," she said. "We kept business records and legislative records for the state."

Bet that was fun.
Bet that was fun?!? That comment pretty much sums up Williamson astounding argument against Issue 5: It's stops the fun for Ken Blackwell.

What a fucktard.

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