Saturday, January 28, 2006

 

They do polls

It's like two kids fighting over who the biggest loser is, Petro or Blackwell.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

 

Our recent medical lessons

No, we aren't talking about Health Savings Accounts - although we have a few things to say about those in a day or two.

The medical lessons we have learned (and are probably not for the feint of heart) over the past week or so are these:
  1. There is "job description creep" for patients in long-term medical research projects.
  2. This "creep" always involve more pain and more painful positions than originally promised.
  3. Avoid volunteering for project that make references to "possible" biopsies.
  4. Try to avoid biopsies that involving going through tight orifices.
  5. BY ALL FUCKING MEANS avoid orifitic biopsies that are done with little or no anesthesia.
  6. BY ALL FUCKING MEANS ask one doctor to demonstrate on another how you really don't need anesthesia for the biopsy.
  7. BY ALL FUCKING MEANS ask to see the length of the biopsy probe before the procedure.
  8. Funny thing, but biopsy probes can jam. Who knew?
  9. When doctors ask you to sign a form authorizing a DRE (ladies - ask you male friends what a DRE is), it's not because they are going to perform a "normal" DRE.
  10. Everything is relative. The normally dreaded DREs feel like a gentle caress compared to the DREs that require written authorization.
  11. Avoid research procedures that "might cause you to notice a little bleeding over the next few days."
  12. Medical professionals really don't have a good definition for "a little bleeding."
  13. Sometimes "a little bleeding" is actually a lot of goddam bleeding.
  14. Bleeding eventually = pain.
  15. When prescribed antibiotics are only to be taken for a few days, it usually means the antibiotic is "powerful."
  16. "Powerful" antibiotics leads to very "powerful" diarrhea. Like a wet cherrybomb going off.
  17. When the "powerful" antibiotic turns out to be the strongest antibiotic available, a) the docs are worried, and b) the antibiotic better work or you may end up permanently "toes up."
  18. Sharing couples often share surprises - like yeast infections.
  19. "Do-gooder" karma requires significant patience.
The good news is that we are nearly back to normal, so hopefully posting will be picking up.

Plus, we have been a little out of touch with the world. Did we hear that Ney guy get caught up in some sorta controversy?

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